I mean, he has a name on his birth certificate, but then, you know, like- all the ladies, like, their panties would go (smacks the table) THUMP and they would make that sound, and so they just changed the name, you know. …Really? That’s… That’s the name you’re gonna give this dude? Me:(Laughing) It’s just a choking noise? ‘hk!’? (like a choking noise in the back of his throat) …It’s just- it’s the ‘V’ girl from Umbrella Academy. Okay, this isn’t a name, this is a title she’s a five-head. He looks like a dubstep marble! …Skrillex Marble! Veronica (Laughing, under his breath) I don’t have a name prepared for this shit, he looks like a marble.

Like, he doesn’t have no jawline, but he doesn’t have a jawline. ‘Cuz he looks like a fuckin’ Connor- he looks like he, like, started on a jawline, then gave up. Me: And, uh, why Connor in the first place? And then he’ll get pissed about that, too.

But he hates the meme ‘I’m Connor sent from cyberlife.’ He’ll like- fuckin’, like- chest up if you make that meme, and challenge you to an arm-wrestling competition, but he’ll lose, ‘cuz he’s obviously skipped arm day. There’s no line on the bottom, that’s his face, that’s a part of his face. Um, he’s not wearing sunglasses, that’s just a part of his face. Not ‘ Mario’ (mar-ee-oh), but ‘ Mario’ (mah-ree-oh.) And if anyone calls her Mario she’d like… beat their head in and then use their bones as fertilizer for her garden. Like ‘Timothy,’ but ‘Doug.’ First name Daniel, middle name Chad, last name Dougathy. He seems like if someone showed him anything animated he’d immediately call them a fuckin’ weeb. Like she’d show up to the bar like ‘get me your finest whiskey.’ Raul (Long pause) …Reximo! No, that’s just an Italian way to say ‘Rex.’ CassĬuz ‘Chappy’ seems too nice. Me: (Not sure how he guessed ‘Rex’ correctly) Why Rex?Ĭus he looks like a Rex. (under his breath) Uh, what’s the name of the dog from Jimmy Neutron… I’m trying to come up with a combination of Rex and Cosmo. …According to my brother, who’s never played.

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